Helpful vs. Unhelpful Counseling in Divorce

Divorce can be an overwhelming experience for all parties involved, from the children. As a result, counseling becomes a critical part of helping the parties cope and have the most manageable processes. 

While a necessary part of the process, there are situations where counseling can be unhelpful during a divorce. This guide highlights situations when counseling can be helpful from a counselor’s perspective but can also act as a guide to divorcing parties in their approach to counseling, so keep reading to learn more.

Individual Counseling 

You could feel that you need counseling, which is an excellent thing to do. Individual counseling is especially helpful if you are coming out of an abusive relationship. 

A good counselor knows how to exercise empathy based on their client’s condition and emotional well-being. However, it can be unhelpful if everything the counselor does is validate every claim their client makes without having them become accountable for their actions because it would mean no learning on their part and setting them up for repeating similar mistakes in the future. 

Couples Counseling

Attending counseling sessions as a couple right before your divorce can be helpful. This counseling doesn’t have to be about rethinking your decision to divorce but about figuring out the best way out of it that guarantees the best outcomes for everyone. It doesn’t have to be lengthy. A session or two may be all you need.

This option is only helpful when both parties are cooperative and willing to reflect on their behavior and their part in causing the problem. It is unhelpful if one person has a personality disorder or trait that makes it impossible for them to reflect or take accountability for anything. 

In such a case, the sessions could end up being all about them and what the other party did wrong, which doesn’t help anything other than reinforcing the one-sided dynamic. 

Individual Child Counseling 

“A divorce will affect children differently from how it affects the parents. For the parents, it’s the end of a loving relationship. Still, for the child, it’s an usurping of life as they know it,” says Georgia family lawyer Shawna Woods of the Atlanta Divorce Law Group. So, it could become necessary that they get individualized counseling to help them cope with the new reality and help the child open up without the fear of victimization.

However, it becomes unhelpful when one parent has already compromised the child to become a pawn in their divorce game because, in such a case, they could only be parroting what they have been told to say to have the parents involved get the upper hand. If you suspect such a situation, a therapist can guide the child in the right direction if they are willing to take the route.

Parent-Child Counseling

Parent-child counseling can repair a bond between parent and child in situations where the child may resist or refuse to see a parent. This is often the case in cases that involve physical or emotional abuse against the child or the other parent. 

There are also cases where one parent will actively participate in creating a lift between one parent and the children. In such cases, parent-child counseling may not bear much fruit unless the other patient is involved. 

Counseling is not the only professional help you will need. Even when you could have the most amicable divorce, having a family lawyer guide you through the process is a good idea to ensure your rights are protected.